What Men Like


Two friends walk into a bar. They grab stools and routinely order their beers as they’ve done many times before. The first gentleman starts talking about some business ideas, his current relationship standing and how life is going with him and his family. The other listens but breaks his attention away from time to time. Something is bothering the second man. His friend looks at him, knowing when something is ailing his old pal so he asks, “What’s up with you? How are you and that girl doing?”  

The second gentleman hesitates to say anything of his problems but manages to eek out that things aren’t running as smoothly as they once were in the beginning of his now fractured relationship. The friend asks, “Well, why not? She’s super sweet.” “Yes, she is.” the man replied but still seemed unable to explain to his closest friend why he was unhappy.

His friend suggests that he tells the woman he’s been dealing with how he feels and what would make the relationship better. The second man foolishly thinks that what would make his relationship stronger would be obvious. But his friend rightly points out that expecting his woman to be a mind reader is not only impossible but if the shoe was on the other foot and partner was expecting him to just know what was wrong without telling him – that often familiar although crazy situation would not fly.

Can it be that complicated for a woman to know what drives a good man wild and what keeps him interested? Anything worth having takes some effort. Here’s a few quick pointers ladies should know when they’re hoping to land what they think is a great guy. This could be obvious to some – or not.  

A woman once told me that she had been legitimately proposed to 4 times in her 36 years of living. She was pretty but there was more to her than just her physical appearance. Here are some of the reasons guys were throwing themselves at her and doing whatever they could to make her happy. For one, she kept a clean house. That’s not rocket science. She regularly cleaned her house or would spot clean if necessary. Guest always felt welcomed and felt they should keep up the standards she’d set when no one was around. She cleaned her body. She smelled sweet, like a woman – or candy. Sometimes it’s hard to tell one from the other. You wanted to taste her.

Number two, she liked to cook. Ordering out and restaurant dining can be a great experience but there’s something about the woman who can make food in the kitchen – like mom used to. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant dinner every day – but there’s emotion and thoughtfulness that goes into preparing a dinner for you and the ones you love. Cooking together is also a romantic experience and guys like to be romanced sometimes too. You do know that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, don’t you?

Third, this woman worked hard on her job to attain the things she wanted most. She wasn’t dependent on anyone else but herself. This may intimidate some men but it shouldn’t. It should serve as a motivating force for a good man to want such a hard working woman on his side. She owned her business and could afford the pleasures of life she desired. Trying to impress her with your money or status may not get you far. You’ll have to be funny, smart, and kind to stand out. Her busy schedule keeps her from spending all her money to get black-out wasted in the middle of the week. There are people depending on her.

Fourth, she worked out. Health was very important to her and at 36 she had a fit body that would carry her well into her 40’s. She hit the gym regularly and did so for herself. She had a toned, slightly muscular frame and looked built to weather the storms life would eventually throw at her and all of us. She was still physically attractive when girls 10 years younger were really into letting themselves go. Trust this – guys want a DUFF as much as girls want a SCRUB.

Lastly, she was pretty smart. Not super immersed in one particular field like a doctor or engineer would be – but as a business owner and student of life she had come to learn many things about how the world works. She took pride in trying to figure things out if she didn’t have the answer right away. She read books when she could. She asked questions, waited, and listened for the answers. Men were always after her and her choice of suitors were the creme de la creme. She wasn’t an inanimate object but she was certainly treated like a prize to be awarded to the best and brightest.

When you’re a young woman, you reach your prime quickly; but the habits you form while young are what will carry you through time. If you want to lock a guy down – do it while you’re young, while you still want to work out, while you still have an open mind and want to learn things and don’t forget the basics that have helped keep your grandfather stuck to the side of your grandmother. And what’s kept most couples together through all of time. A clean house and a cooked meal go a long way. Did I forget to mention amazing sex? There, I did! Be sexually open and curious, at least at first if you can.

Father’s Day


Was he supposed to teach you how to play poker? Was he supposed to show you how to shoot straight? Did he teach you how to hit a ball, or cast a line? What was your father supposed to show you? How to be a man? Did he leave you on the doorstep?

Well, so what if he did!? What if he was too tired after work to pick you up and play catch? What if he was too strung out to take his time with you?  

Most importantly, you must decide what kind of father you want to be – what legacy you will leave behind and what traditions you will set before your children and family.

Being a father is a big job. There are no boys in this club. You must protect, and you must kill if necessary. For anything that should threaten your family should be vanquished by your own hand. And, it will be just. Fatherhood may mean different things to different people. It’s the responsibility of maintaining a happy, successful family. And all happy families are all alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. If I may quote Tolstoy.

As the owner carefully follows the details of his company and the activity of the market. As a shepherd watches over his flock, looks for danger and leads his sheep through green pastures. Father’s have the duty of leading, directing, and the responsibility of seeing their family survive, and thrive. Fatherhood should perhaps be the most important undertaking for any man.

In business, you can mess up – have set backs – lose and regain. The gardener can plant, till, harvest, plan and if one season is very bad – he may be able to start again sometime soon. Father’s get a limited amount of time to make the impression they need and they must see their plans through for the benefit of their family – right out of the gate. You cannot simply start another family as you can start another business idea, seasonal garden, or building project.

A great father plans for the welfare and care of his children, his wife, and his extended family. We may not all be great fathers but we should certainly try to be. It’s worth more than the effort. It’s reward is tenfold. The family you start should come first. It’s the reason we toil and labor – for something greater than ourselves – our offspring. They will go into the world with the skills and behaviours you teach them at home. Give them the best shot at life that you can. Give them your time, your knowledge, and share with them your experience if possible.  

Being a great father has got to take effort. Like being a great salesman or husband, or writer. I would doubt it comes naturally. And I wouldn’t believe a man who tells me it does. Enjoy your father for whatever he was able to teach, show, or share with you. And remember to forgive him if you came into his life at a point when he didn’t have a handle on his own. Maybe you will set a better example by remembering what not to do. Happy Father’s day.

How Good It Feels To Know You’re Not Alone


The narrow road which every champion, successful entrepreneur and elite performer walks is a state of mind that’s focused, clear, and determined to manifest it’s obsessions.  That tolling mindset day in and day out creates for a rewarding atmosphere and events in the long run, but should also allow for mistakes and depression.  Not everyone chooses to walk the narrow road in order to bring their dreams to fruition – but those who do know all too well what ideas, images and emotions can wrestle them to a paralyzing state.  The danger is not in the world that appears to be crumbling – it’s in doing nothing about it.

Such creativity and ambition creates the genius we celebrate in the day, and the worrisome paranoid recluse at night that we do not.  You’ll find strength when you can recognize that although your journey is your own – and your dreams are all your own – and the way you choose to attack your goals may be all your own – that you are not completely on your own.  The entrepreneurial spirit comes with it’s doubts about self, performance, and living up to responsibilities people hold you to.  They depend on your success because it’s a large part of theirs.  Your bill collectors, your employees, your friends – all expect something epic from you as if your story was that of Hercules himself.  But at one point – perhaps that was exactly what you wanted.


One of the reasons for the new rise in city team sports is that hard working professionals need the comraderie.  Working 9-5 can be difficult and your job might not be as awesome as you thought it was years ago.  So you don’t burn out – so you still feel alive, you need to connect with other people in your situation.  Get out, play, have fun.

But there are some of us who work longer than 9-5.  Our work makes us feel alive, we chart our own path, set our own hours and work harder than what is “typical”.  Pushed to more extreme stresses of having your own business – you don’t know what a day off really is.  And not everyone may understand that.  On Sunday, you’re still watching the ball.  On Saturday you’re still planning.  On Friday, you’re still working to close a deal.  And when you’re working that hard – you might not see anyone else burning the midnight oil unless you are in the same office or company together.


Recently, I stopped to meet with an entrepreneur and perhaps creative genius in her own right.  We had an honest and candid talk about the mounting pressure that keeps building from all the events that must be attended, the clients that must be satisfied, the employees who look to learn and get paid, the friends who may or may not be contingent upon her success, and the world at large that just sees a woman and doesn’t expect her to succeed or doesn’t expect anything from her.  Well, I’ve faced similar circumstances and battles of the mind.  I’ve had my own doubts about my longevity and probabilities of wild success.  But I laid those burdens down and continue to invest in myself and people like us.  We are the future, we are able – and although it feels like hell now – heaven is waiting on the other side of execution.  It felt so good to bond with such a tenacious person.  It felt so good to be listened to like that.  It was a reminder that we who take our destiny into our own hands are not alone.

The Emperor Has No Clothes

It wasn’t too long ago that I came across a great book about blogging.  Here I found some of the most interesting ideas for the first time.  Not only did this book cover how to create a successful blog, it also talked about media and media manipulation in its entirety.  My intention was to read a book on how to become a better blogger.  I thought maybe I could pick up some tips, tricks, and or other guidelines that would create more interesting content.  What I came across was much more than that.

The book started off not so innocently.  The title is even intriguing, giving a beguiling call to a darker side of “journalism”.  “Trust me, I’m lying…Confessions of a Media Manipulator” is a great book, and it will help you if you are trying to a write a blog that pulls in tons of traffic.  The techniques outlined however, create a challenge and brings light to a vicious cycle that ebbs more to accumulation of quantity over quality postings.

Basically, anything that’s salacious, outrageous, highlights injustice, is celebrity gossip, or outright lies are the things which bring the most traffic to your blog.  The writer is in essence creating click-bait, false stories, or shocking material in order to grab your attention.  Do with this information what you wish but once you begin the process and are good at it in any way –  you will be expected and called upon to do it consistently.  Bringing down politicians, breaking stories without all the facts, omitting witnesses accounts, or research on a particular drug might get you views –  but can destroy people in the process.  The pen is mightier than the sword, it always has been.  In this generational era of the internet – creating the news is just one way of how that power can be misused and abused.

“More than twenty-five years ago, in Amusing Ourselves to Death, Neil Postman argued that the needs of television, then our culture’s chief mode of communicating ideas, had come to determine the very culture it was supposed to represent.  The particular way that television stages the world, he wrote, becomes the model for how the world itself is to be staged.”

The author, in this excerpt, begins to explain how our television, all of it, including the news – is framed as entertainment for us.  T.V. created a fake world, we watched and consumed the fake world and perpetuated it.  “The dominant culture medium, determines culture itself”.  Now that our dominant culture medium is the internet, youtube, blogs, and twitter – we have those devices creating our culture.

When bloggers lie, distort, and attack because it’s in their interest to do so – we lose something.  When we are bombarded with what is unreal, when we are surrounded by illusions, we then lash out at our fellow man for his very humanness, congratulate ourselves as a cover for apathy, and confuse advertising with art.  Thusly, reality, our lives, knowing what’s important, and information itself become the casualties of our culture.

When intelligent people read, they ask themselves a simple question: What do I plan to do with this information?  When the blogs you read, images you “like”, videos you view lack substance or quality – the answer becomes nothing.  You simply cannot do anything with it.  There may not be much practical purpose for what we consume on the internet through blogs, twitter, instagram and youtube besides distraction.  When readers decide to start demanding quality over quantity, the economics of the internet will change.  Manipulation and marketing will become much more difficult.  Overall, I would recommend reading the book Trust Me I’m lying.

Determining What’s Important

As we get older, we tend to think more and more about our own mortality. During our quest to reach our goals, and as we pile more upon to balance those we’ve checked off our list – It should occur that you may not fulfill every last one. You just may run out of time – so then, during this brief period of time between your awakening and your final curtain call – what should you cherish most? Because life isn’t about tallying a score of all the achievements you can accomplish in a hurry. Will you be most grateful for family, or for time spent with someone you love, or will you only hope to have moments where time just slips away. Like times where you’re numb and don’t feel much of anything?  

I would fear that many of our priorities are misallocated. Our generation has a much higher emphasis on instantaneous self gratification. To our disadvantage, we too readily believe that the world should be available to us this very moment in it’s entirety. In the process, we fail to cultivate loving, healthy, functioning relationships – or a decent trajectory for our future. We come off as spoiled, needy, arrogant, and impatient. We tend to miss the mark, fueling our narcissism and aiding in our own self destruction. Sometimes the things that take time are the best things for us to have. Why should we rush into love, into a career, into a way of life without thoroughly examining the situation and ourselves?

There are so many things you can do with your life besides trying to speed it up. You should take inventory of yourself and reflect as often as you can. Yes, write and examine the goals you have. Yes, you should celebrate your milestones, and you should always push yourself to stay sharp – to learn – to master – and to excel extraordinarily at some things. Then some nights, while you are reflecting, you should maybe take yourself out of the equation and think about the broader picture in front of you. The meaning of life that you assign to your time on earth; is it legitimate – is it doable – is it preposterous, or impossible? Should it be tweaked? Do you value the same things now as you did one, two, or five years ago?

There’s certainly nothing wrong with feeling like you may be in the wrong direction or in need of a change. The only sin would be in knowing you should change course, but then doing nothing about it. To continue doing what you’ve always done, just because you’ve always done it – when it’s detrimental to your health, relationships, or financial well being. Those sins are less forgiving because they ultimately sit with you. You know if you are staying true to yourself. To thine own self be true. You know if what you are doing no longer works, and it will be up to you to change course if necessary. I would never make claim to having done something correctly, the way it needed to be done the first time and every time there after. As a student of life, I have made many mistakes – but my intention is never to make the same mistakes twice.

Life is like an endurance race. It’s not about who makes it the fastest. Sometimes you need to pull over, check your map, check your blueprint, adjust your sails, change your course, take your time, and be sure that you’re doing everything you possibly can to arrive alive and well.

Assault on Television 


My assault on television begins with the disturbing truths that it does not provide you with the tools you’ll need to live better lives. It rarely benefits you; even if there is an educational program channeled through the airwaves. Not counting Sesame Street and what’d you sit your children in front of. What lessons of life have you learned from watching season after season of bad programming? Or even good programming. Have you used the new skills Bear Grylls was trying to teach you? Have you learned how to dance like the stars? Have you learned to build your Empire? Are you having a hot, scandalous affair or are you watching it on TV with your lonely hand buried in a bag of potato chips?

You stare at a screen and absorb the fictional stories centered around lies, deceit, and any other salacious material that are known to produce ratings. You don’t even have to use your imagination and think about what the characters look like. It’s all blinking, talking, and soundtracked for you. You don’t have to engage in the story – it’s all passive entertainment. And it’s making you miss out on life, love, and learning.

The news stories are the worse. I know that there are plenty of good things that go on every day. Your brain is more hardwired to remember negative things, and programmers know this. This guy was shot, this lady was hit by a car, a family was slaughtered with a chainsaw!! Really man? Slaughtered with a chainsaw? Who does that benefit? Now you’re all supposed to walk outside tomorrow and wonder about the private lives of other people so much that you obsess and create backstories that you can never verify. Roger, in accounting does have a weird chainsaw murdering look on his face. He’s been really rocking that burly lumberjack look and winter has been over. What’s he hiding?

The world is exactly as you see it. For better and for worse. If all you see is television, then your world IS television. Your world is programmed, and not even by you. You may have the illusion of at least picking your program, but it has already been chosen for you. Your demographic is recorded and your mindless experience awaits you – mostly by television executives who don’t have the time or desire to watch t.v. They’re too busy getting you hooked and selling you to advertisers.

Is television inherently evil? I should say that it is not. It can certainly make you stupid, warp your view of reality, and even leave you in the rat race. I equate watching television as an activity, less productive than smoking pot. If I’m going to relax and do nothing at the end of the day with time to kill; I’d rather create an apple bong and take a rip. At least then, I’m still pondering things. Might even get some cleaning done. Then more than likely sleep well and happy.

Kendrick Lamar album review


To pimp a butterfly is a metaphor for doling out our beautiful talents for profit.  And Kendrick tells the journey that ensues once you’ve successfully done so.  This album has brought new life to the “rap game” and pushes the envelope of what rap music could be. Kendrick Lamar comes back with the type of insight, wit, and raw talent that you would expect from him and still manages to bring something new to the table. The only draw back is that he makes you viscerally realize how bad his competition simply cannot keep up.

This album crosses genre’s. There’s funk, there’s soul, there are jazz riffs that are Coltrane-esque. Kendrick drops some artsy poetry on an interlude. The kind that’s fast and sharp like darts being tossed across a dark room, illuminating a bullseye with every strike. Kendrick may not be able to play multiple instruments but his talents and vision are broad enough to break him out of any two dimensional constraint you could pigeonhole most rap artists to.

A lot of times, I’m ashamed at what passes for good rap music. Not because it’s full of filthy language. I’m not trying to be a prude. When I was a kid, I basically worshipped everything 2Pac said. I’m ashamed because the rap music lacks substance. And because it lacks variety, it often lacks creativity. Uneducated millionaires don’t impress or represent me. I’d much rather have my wits about me. Kendrick’s album is equal part brawn, flash, and intelligence.

There are no mindless choruses, no repetitive first or last lines than have been morphed into atrocious hooks, no guest appearances in the hopes of staying relevant. Kendrick knows his fan base and he delivers the goods to be taken in like cool water quenching the thirst of a parched culture.

Do you remember when there was an East vs. West beef? When rappers were trying to make the best music and claim their spot on everyone’s top 5 list? They battled on wax and competed for your dollar which purchased their records and financed their dreams. They put forth the effort to be crowned the best. They didn’t just pretend that they were. They made albums and told stories, they made you think, they made you rewind. Crown King Kendrick – may his reign be long and his rule continually benevolent.